Y2K: Computers will shutdown at midnight on Jan. 1, 2000, causing a global meltdown and mankind will be thrown into the dark ages.

Midnight, Jan. 1, 2000: News Year’s parties reach their zenith – and life goes on. 

May 21, 2011: The Rapture will occur. This will usher in an era of great tribulation.

Yesterday, May 21, 2011: Saw no Rapture.

Now, before I irritate the faithful here in Norcross, let me say without hesitation and as clearly as I can; I am a Christian.  I do believe in God.  I know I am saved by the Sacrifice of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  I believe the Rapture will occur as foretold in the Bible (1 Thessalonians 4:15-17). Furthermore, I believe the Bible is the Word of God, which is why I am certain that no one can predict The Second Coming of The Lord – because the Bible says no one will know when the Rapture will occur, but for The Almighty. 

And with that, I’m done witnessin’ – as they used to call it in our little Southern Baptist church where I grew up back in Texas.

Still, we all heard about it: a prediction started by a guy in California who was absolutely certain that May 21 was the day ... just like he was certain in 1994.  But he wasn't the first and won't be the last.

Actually, this whole thing would have been laughable, except for the sad truth that all of this Rapture talk duped a lot of people into buying into an array of cons that went along with the claim that yesterday was going to be the Judgment Day; not the least of which were promoted through the plethora of ads for “after the Rapture” pet care services. 

Seriously? 

You would have me believe that - as one ad claimed - for a onetime payment of $135 (in advance, of course), a person who was “left behind” would promise to care for our beagle, Charlie, for 10 years? 

First of all, who would know?  Second, I'm thinking that - at that point and having been "left behind" - these "pet caregivers" would have a few other things to worry about than feeding our dog.  And even if the "pet caregiver" were true to his or her word, that would mean they would spend just over a dollar per month on Charlie. 

A quarter a week? 

Let me tell you, ol’ Charlie’s food costs a lot more than that and, during the terrible days of the Tribulation following the Rapture, I’m thinking that if you could even find dog food it would go for a much higher price by then.  In fact, I’m thinking that ol’ Charlie – and others like him – would, themselves, become dinner for those "left behind" after a while.  Besides, all of that goes against my belief that all dogs do go to Heaven.  I’m not sure about cats, though.  Maybe.

But then this is all a moot point, given yesterday’s non-Rapture day.

So, what’s next on the list of ridiculous predictions designed to rope the weak minded into donating to those who would mislead or otherwise con people in the name of God or humanity toward animals?

Well, since the Rapture didn’t happen yesterday, I guess we can forgo the prediction by those same people that the world will be destroyed by the Hand of God five months from now – on Oct. 21, 2011.

How about the Mayan calendar prediction that the world will end on Dec. 21, 2012? And what’s the deal with everything always predicted to happen on the 21st?  I’ve always rather liked the 21st of the month; typically, there are no bills due, I still have a few days before I have to worry about month-end bookkeeping and, by then, I've finally gotten use to writing the current month correctly on documents.  The 21st is a great day of the month.  Maybe it’s because the seasons usually change about then – except in Georgia.

But, I digress; back to the Mayan calendar and its prediction of the end of the world on Dec. 21, 2012. 

It has always amazed me that a culture as advanced as that of the Mayans' could predict the end of time – and not predict its own demise.  In courtroom legalese that’s referred to as "being discredited."  Besides, I would have gone with Dec. 12. 

Think about it, 12/12/12? 

Kind of like 06/06/06 - which I specifically remember as not being nearly as hot as one would have thought for a June day in Georgia - particularly one designated as "666."

So, what about Nov. 11, 2011 – 11/11/11?  Shall we start an unfounded rumor about that upcoming date?   It's close enough in the future to keep the gnat-like attention span of the populace preoccupied with it until then. 

No, it’s no good.  It's already Veteran’s Day and the anniversary of the signing of the Treaty of Versailles, the peace treaty ending World War I - which was the first "war to end all wars."   Another prediction that didn’t work too well.

Perhaps it’s best to leave predictions alone and just live life to the fullest.  Besides, I'm thinking that Jesus will come back when he’s good and ready.