They're Building Passionate Marriages in Suwanee

The Facebook page reads, “Pursue your spouse with passion!” For Stan and Patty Stokes of Suwanee, that tag line exemplifies their own marriage, and it describes a lifelong process they hope to inspire in other couples.

The Stokes couple operate a nonprofit ministry named PassionateSpouse through which they provide teaching, mentoring, couples conferences, and the annual Marriage Prom event. 

“Marriage mentoring is another couple coming beside you and telling you how they got through tough situations. It's not about knowing all the answers, but being able to share experiences and provide guidance.” - Stan Stokes

While Stokes' faith defines the framework of their mentoring, it is not a requirement to share their faith to receive the mentoring or attend their events. Part of their mission statement reads, “Our primary desire is to share enthusiasm, joy, and fulfillment, of marital stability.”

The Stokes couple are also certified eMentors through FamilyLife.com. This service allows people who need advice and mentoring to receive it anonymously through the FamilyLife.com website via eMentors like the Stokes.

The Marriage Prom is an annual event organized by the Stokes couple in the Suwanee area. Patty Stokes is quick to tell you that PROM is Passion, Romance and Oneness in Marriage.

The prom is a dance event just like a high school prom with formal dress, dancing, music, deserts, and professional photography. The difference is that this prom is for married couples of all ages. The Stokes couple recommend that couples go out to eat before the dance and plan to spend the evening together afterwards. They want couples to get outside of their normal routine so that they can enjoy each other and enrich their marriage. 

Longtime residents of Suwanee, the Stokeses have lived in the same house since they were married over 25 years ago and are current members of Shadowbrook Baptist Church. Patty Stokes is originally from the Stone Mountain area and Stan Stokes from Dunwoody. They met each other in the singles group at church and have been together ever since.

Soon after becoming married, Patty Stokes found that she had a gift for teaching and mentoring other women in midweek Bible studies and discussions. She realized that Stan Stokes wasn't quite ready to get involved yet to make a full marriage ministry, so she built her experience by working with the other women in her circles.

“My motivation was seeing so many people struggling in their marriage and watching others contemplating divorce. ” - Patty Stokes.

Patty Stokes used her faith as a basis for marital mentoring and the experiences in her own marriage for examples and knowledge to help others.

The Stokes couple say that the turning point of their marriage came around 1996 when they began to understand the “unconditional mindset” of love as described and modeled by the life of Jesus Christ. Using their Biblical roots as a basis, the couple talks about unconditional love and forgiveness as a building block for strong marriages. Just recently, they posted on the PassionateSpouse Facebook page

“Forgiving a spouse doesn't look or feel natural, and it's far from easy; but it reflects God's nature with magnificent lasting effect.”

In the mid 2000s, the Stokes couple started looking for ways to expand their ministry into the larger Suwanee community. This eventually led them to register PassionateSpouse as a nonprofit organization. Shortly afterwards, Stan Stokes retired form the Gwinnett County Fire and Emergency services after a 24 year career there to devote himself to the PassionateSpouse mission.

Patty Stokes says, “Most couples have at the most a few weeks of premarital counseling before they are wed and many of them come from homes where they never saw an example of what a healthy marriage looks like. We want to educate couples so they have the tools to not only go the distance but to have an abundant Christ-centered marriage.”

The Stokes couple say they are planning to take seminary classes to pursue a Bachelor of Arts in Christian Ministry which would prepare them for graduate work in counseling. They continue to host Art of Marriage weekend conferences in the Suwanee area.

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