By Kenneth Stepp
In all my many years I have learned quite a bit about life. In life there are absolutes.
1. None of us will get out of this alive
2. Life will have pain, disappointment, and heartache.
3. None of us are perfect.
4. Mistakes happen. And they have consequences.
These are just facts, no new revelations for any of us. Just restating the old adages and truths we all know. Some cannot talk about them though. Internalizing them can lead to tragic endings and a life of even more pain.
Today my life is "in motion" in many ways. No real stability in any of the areas that most people take for granted. I'm single again after 27 years with my wife. I have no stable income, which is normal for me because I am after all, an entrepreneur. I now rent a home instead of own a home. My old friend base is almost completely gone. So you see, in motion is a good term I think.
On the surface I am all smiles, have a prestigious address, and make it to a lot of events in Georgia. Underneath I am in turmoil sometimes. Most would never see that in me. I think most of us are like this. Afraid to seem vulnerable, or weak. Being a big alpha male, I like to always appear strong, brave, and engaged. Most days I pull that off. Yesterday I could not. It was a day of processing emotions. A much needed time of reflection.
On Saturday of last week I went to a friends viewing. The place was packed. He had many friends. His bride, kids, and family were there. He too was a big alpha male, always smiling, the life of the party. He is about seven years younger than me. I will never know why he decided to take his own life. Why at home? Why when his wife was there? But I do understand the power of pain. When asked why someone would do this, I was reminded of va quote from years ago.
"You will remain the same until the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of change." Unknown
His pain was greater than the change from life to death. Many find this way of ending pain. I never judge. Of course many do. I have heard "That's the most selfish act" more times than I care to. The truth is that it is a desperate act by a very sick, hurting person. Anything but selfish. I remember this man vividly because he lived a vivid life. I was never around him that I wasn't made to feel like laughing, or at least smiling.
Processing this leads to his wife. They really were soul mates, in love, and a wonderful couple. When her children go back to their homes soon, she will be alone in that home, that kitchen, den. and bed. Reality causes pain. This sad reality will cause immense pain. Closure in a case like this will be elusive. I so hope she finds it, doubtful she will though. When she finds the solace to go on, it will be more enduring than enjoying. I get that.
Moving forward is a part of life. It has always been a part of mine. Today I will put on my happy face, get my "smart speak" in order, and make something good happen. I hope everyone can smile about something today. Life is such a precious gift, to be nurtured, and honored daily. Give life a chance and it will amaze you. And amazing is just on the other side of that pain.
"The smallest package in the world is a person all wrapped up in themselves" George Warren
k@kstepp.com
www,kstepp.com
